How to gain confidence and be the best that you can be?

How to gain confidence and be the best that you can be?

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I know how hard frustrations can push you in a corner. The time when you want to be the best, but the circumstances don’t seem to cooperate. You want to top that exam, but apparently did not get enough score or land in that job but felt that you are not enough.

How to be the best is a question we often ask ourselves, and doubt to ask others. How can I be good enough? It’s quite depressing to see yourself being one of the least.

First, I want to tell you that there are two types of people, a leader and a follower. It is important that you know in which position you are now.  Do you conform with other’s decisions or you make the decisions?

I always believed before that I am a leader and not a conformist. Not until I was thrown into a den of lions and realized how wrong I was. Every day was a bit depressing as I become hidden in the shadows of other's successes.

That’s when I had a long thinking of why such things happen. Long means days to months of questioning my ability and self-worth. I reflected on what I was doing and came up with answers and solutions, that can hopefully help you, too.

1.     Do not compare yourself to others.

Understand that we have different talents. As Einstein says, “Everybody is genius. But, if you judge a fish by his ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it’s stupid.”  That’s exactly what happened to me. I almost believed that I was useless because I can't do what others can.

That's just a no-no. If you are good in writing, focus on it. If by any chance you find someone that’s better than you, then, learn from them. Do not be stuck doubting yourself. Strive to learn more and improve the abilities you have.

One day, you’ll realize that you’ve become better at it. It’s better to realize that you are not yet good enough instead of claiming that you are. This way, you look forward to learn and improve more.

2. Be yourself.

If you are the silent type, don’t pretend to be the clown of the crowd. Eventually, it will show that you are not.

I saw people who tried to be a “star” but in the long run turned to be really uncool. We don't want that to happen. To be the best doesn’t mean that you have to show off.

Psychology says that there are multiple intelligence categorized into arithmetic, mathematical, visual-spatial, intrapersonal, people-smart and more. Know what talents and intelligence you have and focus on that. Be real and people will eventually come to you.

Remember, there lots of successful people who are introverted. Nevertheless, there are extroverts, too, which means nothing can tell you if you are good enough or not. Be yourself. Do not be afraid to go alone or separate from the crowd or be with the crowd. Do whatever works with your personality.

3.       Read.

Education is important. Aside from school, you can learn a lot from the internet and your own research and experiences.

The world is vast with information written in books, articles, journals, and many more. If you want to be the best, cultivate your mind, heart, and soul. Read books and stock the knowledge that would become handy someday.

Exercise meta-cognition or the process of “thinking about thinking”. Learn to compare, evaluate and synthesize materials. You can use these skills in a wide range of circumstances from choosing which brand is better to people’s philosophies in life.

4. Don’t settle with average.

It takes hard work to produce the “best” output. Whether you’re writing a paper or doing a stage performance, do not settle with anything less than what you actually can.

If it would take a long time, then prepare early. If it takes a lot of research, do the research. Take the route where you use your creativity, skill, and hard work. Successful people do not take short cuts.

5.       Do it for someone.

You should have a good motivation. It can be a family, partner, your child, or anyone. Have a strong reason why you are doing it. But carefully choose whom it is for. Think of someone who will become your inspiration and not destruction.

For me, I do things because of my faith. Let me tell you a story.

I was attending mass and the pastor shared about how the best offering is a “living sacrifice.” Of course, I was thinking that maybe, that's the reason why they give lamb and serve as offerings before.

But, the pastor gave a deeper example. Me.  If God gave us His best, His Son, to give us the gift of salvation, then what else can I offer to this Great God? My answer became firm. I offered the best of me. I am not trying to push my faith to you, but I want to tell you where my motivation is coming from. It has to be strong. 

If I do something, I do it with my best. If I need to pass the exam, I review until I know I have done my best. When there are projects, I hold responsibility.

When I want to share my suggestions, I don’t fear anymore. Simply, because I am doing it to glorify my God. Not for me, not for a friend, not for my family, but for God’s glory. From my experience, when I put God first, everything surprisingly aligned. 

These are the 5 solutions I used to conquer my frustrations. I am happy that I have known of these things now.  I hope this helps you, too. May you have a great day!

If you have any comments or suggestions, leave a comment below! Thank you.